"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"
I am sitting here after a particularly uneventful Sunday night spent in front of the television watching Deadwood and Entourage. While I am writing this, 2001: A Space Odyssey is on the television and technically it is no longer Sunday night. I am sipping at a very tall glass of an orange cream concoction, to which I have added a healthy dose of vodka. Unfortunately, it is failing to make me anything but tired.
"My mind is going. I can feel it."
I created this thing on a whim yesterday. I agonized over what is should be called, finally coming up with what you see before you: The Ebb of Equanimity. What it means probably isn't immediately clear, but I think a few moments with a dictionary might clarify it a little bit. Though there are always so many intangibles when trying to interpret someone else's words that perhaps going beyond simple definitions would be pointless. I don't know what I will be writing here, I don't even particularly know why I am writing here. More than trying to put any meaning to the title, I think I chose it more because of how it sounds than anything, the repeating E's have something of a poetic quality to them. A sort of "Je ne sais quoi" if you will (that being pertinent because it literally means "I don't know what").
"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two."
After agonizing over a title, I then agonized over such questions as what my favorite music is, and what my favorite albums are, and what books left a particular imprint upon my intellectual being. My favorite music is always changing, my favorite book is usually the last good one that I read, and as far as movies go, I like all of the good ones and none of the bad ones. But I think I was able to come up with some decent choices that some random observer could use to define me as being somewhat normal. We all do want to appear normal after all. The antithesis of that is abnormal, and that word brings up the idea of mental issues or disfigurement. I would never want any profile of me to ever bring up such negative connotations. Who would?
"Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."
Alright, no one answer that. The internet is full of abnormality, and it is celebrated by many, with both mental issues and disfigurement alike. And I am probably as abnormal as any of them, but I would at least like my first impression to appear as otherwise.
"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
All preliminary issues addressed, except for a photo, something I may consider in the future, I prepared to actually type my first post, and discovered that I had absolutely nothing whatsoever to say. A day later, and I still have the same problem, though it would seem I have achieved the creation of some sort of nonsense. A whole lot of words without really saying anything equals nonsense. Expect a lot of it in the future. Sure, there are plenty of topics to be discussed, after all there is a great deal going on in the world at the moment. But this being my first post, I didn't want to set the tone of this place as being political, worldly, liberal or what have you. It is more just a place for my random whimsical utterances.
"I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do."
It is a place for me to share my thoughts, my poetry, my writing, or more simply put, my words. Words being something I take somewhat seriously. I agonize over them. It is why I often have a difficult time speaking. I sometimes have the appearance of being a stutterer. But I just have to stop, slow my mind down, concentrate, and try not to say the wrong thing.
"It can only be attributable to human error. "
I realize I have given very little here. Future posts may be a little more telling. I will try to be as forthright as possible, but unfortunately there will have to be some secrets between us. But, hopefully, except for a privileged few, the only real secret will be my name. D. R. are my first two initials, but Clark is a name I have taken from someone very close to me. Someday, I hope to put this name on a novel. Not necessarily to hide my identity, but more as an homage.
"Its origin and purpose still a total mystery."
Well, I suppose I have said enough for now.
"Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Good bye."
